EssayStoryJournalBook reviewReflectionResearchLetterPoemMemoir4,372 words20 min readAutosave enabledChapter 1 Hello there! I know it's been a minute here..my house is officially haunted, and in need of the holy ghost (lol..kidding..and yet not). So these thoughts have been inspired by a discussion between Jay Shetty and Trevor Noah sometime back. This is further stressed by another discussion between Noah Yuval Harari and Tristan Harris. The latter is centralized in the AI era where we have super sophisticated recommender systems that have a better sense of who we are than most of us do or at least will be the case in the near future. There has never been a better time to have a good sense of 'who you are' than now. It's my wish that I'll be in a position to recall most of the important stuff put across for your sake. Nonetheless, I'll keep updating this post with more thoughts and concepts. First, was the concept of 'knowing thyself' but more than this, the ability to let go of what the past, as featured by the limitations characterizing the then reality, has imposed on us; and being bold to venture into the abyss of self-discovery and hence achieving a better sense of freedom (yea, we still can't fathom nor buy into the concept of absolute freedom). We seem to overlook the fact that some mechanisms developed in the face of a 'reality' in the past no longer serve us, hence the need to continually shed parts of ourselves to give room for growth hence better adaptability. One of my favorite ways of learning has been through stories. It's here, that you're able to make those deep connections between a person's school of thinking and their past experiences. Moreover, it's here that beauty and understanding lie. Saturday, 12th Dec this year comes to mind. This was my first time attending Jamhuri celebrations (Kenya's independence day). Inasmuch as the idea was to get the 'free courses' offered by Arizona, it's Kevin's stories (my bench partner, a stranger) that really kept me psyched (yea, some of the best conversations you'll ever have will be with strangers, people that your paths will only cross once in your lifetime! I guess there's a consolation in that. It's a weird thrill I've come to thirst for). Kevin is an alumnus of UoN, having graduated with a BSc in Clinical Medicine but had been unemployed for a while before having to take a blue-collar job at KPA (and a 'Muguka trading' side hustle somewhere around Container in South C) in order to provide for his family. Throughout the conversation, I can understand how his past has shaped his life. He goes on to tell me how his faith in God has recently been put under a 'stress test' like never before (and reads me from Psalms 23). The problem is whilst jobless, he'd turned to inebriation for solace, a case that has now become a detriment to his current 'better' life. It's not a happy story so far though, Kevin had an alcohol poisoning four weeks prior and went through a near-death experience, he still gets chills reliving it. He says an angel actually appeared in all its white glory, Raphael, and instructed him to stand on Psalms 63 to win the 'battle' (which I'm guessing is the urge to follow the light at the end of the tunnel or simply 'death'). We couldn't really understand what that sh*t was about though as this also coincided with President Ruto's introduction of the main stakeholders present from tech giants like Google, a subject we both were super interested in. Nonetheless, I'm aware that this is a psalm of David whilst in the Desert of Judah. (I should probably go through the passage again sometime soon). We parted at the end of the event with the promise to keep our faith and remain in touch (though the latter would be impossible given that we didn't get to exchange our contact details). Personally, one of the limitations in my self-definition journey has been the concept of 'having' or 'not having'. Having grown up in the most remote village in the country, everything was classified binary-wise; you either had money or not, you had brains or you didn't, you were adamant religion-wise or not, a couple was either perfect or not; we didn't do in-between nor afford the luxury of exposure to an infinite case scenarios from a single experiment. Navigating life through such a simplified lens catches up with you very early on when the algorithm breaks right on your first day in school when 'Madam Grace' gives an end-of-year target grade of 70% and not 100%, which years later you learn in your advanced statistics class that; no, nothing is binary (unless you're a computer or a stubborn believer in the American system) and yes, everyone is trying to beat the 'benchmark' which in layman has been termed 'average'. This concept in finance means you're richer than most; in philosophy, it implies you've somewhat achieved 'singularity'; in medicine, you're immortal; in tech, you're a god; in science, you're a genius, etc. The need for these benchmarks and how they're defined is still a bug in itself but I'd just leave it at 'everyone should be free to employ one that works for them at any given time or space.' The problem comes in when you realize you're actually an in-betweener (and the algorithm can't predict if you ought to be depressed, sad, indifferent, somewhat happy, or very happy). Now in the 21st century, this is further blurred by the consumerism concept which seeks to lead us into thinking that the more we accumulate, the better our needs are met hence the more happiness/satisfaction we achieve. This is further intensified by our insatiable hunger for safety, security, and stability (the 'jungle-ness' in us will literally be the death of us, and I don't mean death in the literal sense, though at this point it could really go on either way). This is the classic illustration of manipulation. In fact, the idea is: The manipulator uses your weaknesses against you and convinces you to act the way they want. Manipulators have a need to control others and don't feel guilty about it. Source: https://exploringyourmind.com/manipulation-weaknesses-to-gain-power/ Now, let's address the elephant in the room; do you then live your life 'half-assing' as they put it, or do you tone it down or try to play it up. I wish I had even remotely a 'good' answer coz I've seen supposedly 'happier' people who go through life half-assing..I've seen the supposedly 'happiest' perfect couples whose 'wealth' was close to non-existent..I've read biographies of geniuses who still led somewhat 'sad' lives. I guess this is a complex phenomenon that can't be fully solved without taking into consideration a person's unique circumstances, geographical location, spirituality, etc. Maybe this is not even a subject that should be accorded attention given its irrelevance, I mean at the end of the day no one gives a sh*t if you lived fully and were satisfied with what you were able to achieve..people care about how much happiness they got from your existence. From this school of thought, it may sound selfish but you're only as good insofar as someone else gains from your existence. (I am actually going through an existential crisis just thinking about this..a discussion for another day). This reminds me of this quote: “Do we exist because others perceive our existence, or is, indeed, our own affirmation enough?” ― Neal Shusterman, Unsouled Sorry again for inundating you with my thoughts, but the idea I've been trying to get across has been that of collective awareness, a concept that would only be feasible if and when we all are aware of ourselves at an individual level at any given point in time and space. From the convo, Jay who's formerly a monk goes ahead to share his definition of a home as 'where I feel I'm living my purpose', a phenomenon that's not possible without self-awareness. (deep sh*t..I know). I really think by having a better sense of who we are both individually and collectively, we'll be able to solve some of the 'urgent' problems facing the planet. I mean I'm not gonna soil my Gucci boots trying to plant a tree without some sort of reward/compensation..and sharing it on tik tok wouldn't cut it as most traffic doesn't favor such acts.. a sad state of affairs. This reminds me of my current voluntary work as a 'Malaria Army', it actually takes so much effort to meet up and convince people with some power in the healthcare space to facilitate better mobilization of resources and tools. The program now borders on 'activism'. Nonetheless, we still have hope for a better quality living standard as a continent hence happiness (loosely speaking since we're no longer certain this phenomenon actually exists outside of Disney movies). I am a dreamer, always have been (I'm also aware it's not usually said with a positive connotation, more so in my case) so this all could just be wishful thinking. To sum up, by knowing thyself, huge corporations and governments will no longer pose a threat to our democracy. By knowing thyself, you're shielded against any sort of manipulation from sophisticated algorithms at play on the internet. By knowing thyself, you get a better sense of your own purpose here. By knowing ourselves as a people, we're able to set our priorities right and solve the most urgent problems. (At this point, it should be on everyone's to-do list). Maybe it's time to put the upper bounds on capitalism after all. “To be, or not to be? That is the question - Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And, by opposing, end them?” ― William Shakespeare's play Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1 I hope you choose to be every single time. Thanks again! Chapter 2 Yaaaaaay! Blessed are those who've made it into 2023! and through the first stage of hell, which we call January! ( Dante should travel back in time and take note in his divine comedy ). From Plato's standpoint, this chapter will still build on the same concept of "knowing thyself" - a phrase originating from ancient Greece, particularly in the works of the same philosopher. It builds on the idea that self-knowledge is essential for leading a virtuous and fulfilling life. ( Voilà, we found our purpose! ) Cheers to all the early thinkers for setting up a platform for man to freely think about complex concepts, live by these thoughts and think about life bounded by unexplored thoughts, etc. We often crumble down from the mere thought of doing this, I mean we are anything but simple entities roaming the galaxy (..right?) .. in machine learning we have a sophisticated excuse, the 'curse of dimensionality'. Need I say more? As machines, we're long overdue for an upgrade for sure . If there is someone I look up to in my 'studentship-in-perpetuity' lifestyle ( for lack of a better word ), that'd be the ingenious Plato. From my limited reads of Plato's works; I have a few contexts in which "knowing thyself" is acknowledged. First and foremost, "The Allegory of the Cave". Here, Plato argues that true knowledge, including knowledge of oneself, can only be obtained through philosophical contemplation and not through sensory experience. ( I knew there was a field where Artificial Intelligence would be rendered of less use, I don't wanna imply 'use-less' ). He compares the process of obtaining self-knowledge to the journey of the philosopher from the cave of ignorance to the light of truth. (Reminds me of a conversation I recently had with my sister, Fay, on Shakespeare's 'ignorance is bliss' predicament. To cut the discussion short, from our limited knowledge, the notion is only true insofar as one is fully aware of the pros and cons of the same into the unforeseen future. This, therefore, implies that 'not knowing what you don't know' isn't necessarily bliss. The excerpt is from Shakespeare's play 'The Taming of the Shrew', a play that at first comes across as I daresay, barbarous, offensive, and misogynistic. Nevertheless, I do understand that this wasn't necessarily his view of the world, but rather, the society's expectations at the time. Nonetheless, it's still one of the popular works of Shakespeare and makes you wonder if most earthens ( people from earth..made of earth to mean clay..get it..!? lol..my jokes are getting better for sure ) are just sadists who get some sort of twisted satisfaction from scenes of wife-bashing, or there's more to Shrew than meets the eye, or just that people have made peace with where we've been over time. "I know not what you mean by that, but, I am sure, 'tis nothing" - Act III, Scene 2 of William Shakespeare's play "The Taming of the Shrew." The idea is that sometimes not knowing the truth about a situation or circumstance can spare us the pain or stress that knowledge may bring. Nonetheless, many argue that being informed and knowledgeable is essential for personal growth, decision-making, and overall well-being, and that ignorance can be dangerous and limit one's ability to understand the world and therefore make meaningful contributions to it. A stand a wholly second, and I hope you (my dearest reader) do too. Always. Secondly, we have, "The Apology" dialogue which recounts the trial and death of Plato's teacher, Socrates. In this dialogue, Socrates defends himself against the charges of impiety and corruption of the youth brought against him. He claims that the Oracle at Delphi instructed him to pursue self-knowledge, as the only way to avoid evil and live a virtuous life. "The unexamined life is not worth living." ~ Socrates Here, Socrates means that the pursuit of self-knowledge is essential for a meaningful and fulfilling life. He argues that individuals should question their beliefs and values, and critically evaluate their own understanding of the world, in order to arrive at a more accurate and comprehensive understanding of reality. He also emphasizes the importance of admitting ignorance and recognizing that there is always more to learn. He argues that one who is truly wise will acknowledge their own ignorance, as this is the first step towards acquiring knowledge. He believes that the pursuit of self-knowledge requires a lifetime of questioning and reflection, as there is always more to learn about oneself and the world. This is further stressed by Albert Einstein: "The important thing is not to stop questioning." ~ Albert Einstein In conclusion, in "The Apology," Socrates presents the idea that self-knowledge is a necessary and ongoing process, and that the pursuit of self-knowledge is central to a good life. Through the defense of his philosophical methods and beliefs, he demonstrates the importance of questioning one's beliefs and values, and the centrality of self-knowledge in the search for truth and wisdom. Prof Feynman couldn't have been more right ( I think.. ) Third, we have, "The Symposium" dialogue which depicts a conversation among a group of intellectuals at a drinking party in Athens. One of the central themes of the dialogue is .. ( take a wild guess !? ) yes! the idea of self-knowledge and its relationship to the pursuit of wisdom and truth. In the dialogue, various characters deliver speeches about the nature of love, including self-love. Plato argues that self-love requires self-knowledge and that a person who has no sense of self-awareness cannot truly love themselves or others. In the dialogue, Socrates recounts a speech given by priestess Diotima, in which she describes the journey toward self-knowledge as a series of ascending steps. She argues that the first step is to recognize one's own ignorance and limitations, and that true wisdom can only be achieved by continually striving to understand the world and oneself. Diotima also argues that the pursuit of self-knowledge is closely tied to the pursuit of beauty and goodness and that individuals must strive to understand the nature of these qualities in order to attain a more complete understanding of themselves. She describes the ascent towards self-knowledge as a journey of discovery, in which individuals move from a focus on physical beauty to an understanding of the beauty of the soul and the realm of ideas. Fourth, we have, "The Phaedrus" dialogue which explores the themes of love, beauty, and the pursuit of wisdom. Like the earlier dialogues, a key theme is the idea of "knowing thyself", which was a maxim inscribed in the temple of Apollo at Delphi. Here, Plato discusses the nature of the soul and its desire for knowledge and wisdom. He argues that the process of self-discovery is essential for the soul to reach its highest potential and become truly virtuous. He believes that individuals who have achieved a high level of self-knowledge are better equipped to experience and appreciate beauty, both in themselves and in the world around them. Furthermore, the character Socrates believes that individuals who have achieved a deep understanding of their own nature are better able to make informed decisions about what is truly good for themselves and for others. Thus, like earlier dialogues, in "The Phaedrus", the idea of "knowing thyself" is presented as a central component of the pursuit of wisdom, love, and the good life. Finally, "The Phaedo" is a philosophical dialogue by Plato that deals with the subject of death and the afterlife. Like "The Apology", it is set on the day that Socrates is sentenced to death by drinking hemlock, and it features a conversation between Socrates and his friends as they discuss the nature of the soul and the afterlife. Socrates argues that the soul is immortal and that death is merely a release from the body. ( This has always had me wondering why scientists are still in the pursuit of 'immortality of the flesh' ... surely they have to know of its triviality! ). He discusses the idea of reincarnation, and that the soul may live on in another body after death. Moreover, throughout the dialogue, Socrates emphasizes the importance of philosophy and the pursuit of wisdom. He argues that philosophy is the path to self-knowledge and understanding the nature of reality and that it is only through philosophy that individuals can achieve true happiness and fulfillment. ( If your cat is half the (wo)man you are, I think Schrödinger's cat would always be alive! On a very light note .. what do I know!? nada! ) “ The first and greatest victory is to conquer yourself; to be conquered by yourself is of all things most shameful and vile.” ~ Plato I hope you always conquer yourself. Know yourself more than yourself knows yourself ( Just to be safe! ). Thanks again! Chapter 3 In the vast tapestry of life, I've found myself navigating the intricate maze of unemployment more times than I can count on my left hand fingers. But let me tell you, there are different shades to the canvas of unemployment. There's that initial plunge into the abyss, right after donning the cap and gown of graduation, when you're suddenly burdened with the weight of student loans and household bills. You find yourself in a city that was supposed to be your new home, with only yourself as company – unless, of course, you're one of the fortunate few whose parents remain steadfast allies. In the African context, the parent-child dynamic often takes on the form of a pragmatic partnership, and that partnership grows super thin at this point. And then there's the kind of unemployment that dances on the tightrope of 'voluntary,' as if you're biding your time until the perfect opportunity materializes. Here, your well-meaning parents and well-intentioned friends can't fathom why you're not in the workforce, wielding your knowledge and skills like a virtuoso. Conversations about purpose and passion take on the air of a never-ending symphony (believe me, this is the unemployment that can gnaw at your soul). Now, picture this: in a realm where you're neither tethered to a relationship nor ensnared by the responsibilities of partnership, marriage, or parenthood; you’re always in a race to be better in all aspects of the word. Make no mistake; I still subject myself to interviews, almost as if it's an act of ritualistic devotion. It's not that I'm fervently seeking employment, but rather, I do it for the sake of those who find it bewildering that I'm not on the nine-to-five treadmill. The weight of societal expectations can be crushing. Being situated in a third-world crucible like Kenya doesn't make the situation any easier. Opportunities are as scarce as water in a desert for those left stranded. Resources for personal development and upskilling are as elusive as a fleeting dream, and patience, from all corners, is in short supply. It's as if you owe a debt to everyone for your perceived lack of success. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not averse to the allure of wealth. In fact, if I had a penny for every strategy I've devised in pursuit of prosperity within this labyrinth called life, I'd give even the illustrious Elon Musk a run for his money. But therein lies the enigma of humanity I am no stranger to the tumultuous realm of existential crises; it seems not a day goes by without me grappling with an overwhelming sense of desolation. I've teetered on the precipice of triumph, nearly breaking free from the shackles that bind me. Yet, an invisible force, inscrutably potent, always manages to restrain me. At times, I find myself entertaining the notion of self-sabotage – a paradox, given that I am my own, and often sole, cheerleader. The allure of grand aspirations courses through my veins – a desire for a second chance in the form of a second passport, the yearning to collaborate with luminaries in the realms of Mathematics and AI, the dream of indulging in annual vacations without the vexation of forsaking essential Coursera subscriptions, and the fervent hope of witnessing my family's prosperity. Are these not desires that burn brightly within the hearts of all? Yet, the cosmos seems resolute in withholding from me what I perceive as rightfully earned. Why should I acquiesce when the flames of passion within me rage so fiercely that I fear I might combust, even as I drown in the quagmire of existence? I yearn for a life of greater substance, not merely because I desire it, but because I believe I deserve it. In the labyrinth of my thoughts, I often ponder the enigma of Jesus himself – considered 'poor' by conventional human standards, yet declaring himself 'rich.' Recall the temptations he resisted in the desert. I wish to master this profound 'poverty of spirit,' aligning my existence with the spiritual rather than the material. My life straddles the paradoxical boundary between seeking enrichment for the soul and striving for material affluence. But who decreed that these desires must remain mutually exclusive? I inhabit both the corporeal and the ethereal realms; should I not be permitted to yearn for the flourishing of both aspects of my essence, free from judgment for the failings of the flesh? Above all, my fervent wish is for emancipation, a liberation from the bonds of societal norms and the ceaseless pursuit of insatiable material desires. I have bestowed others with undue influence over my self-worth for far too long. But that ends now. Nonetheless, I remain a student of stoicism, a relentless seeker of meaning. Socrates' timeless wisdom echoes like a clarion call to all seekers of meaning and purpose: "The unexamined life is not worth living." These profound words, etched into the annals of philosophy, serve as a luminous beacon guiding us through the murky waters of our own existence. Yet, Socrates' injunction does not advocate a life mired in ceaseless contemplation, divorced from the vibrant tapestry of human experience. Instead, it invites us to infuse our actions with purpose and intentionality, aligning our external pursuits with our inner convictions. It encourages us to live authentically, to be true to ourselves even in the face of societal expectations and conformity, a life enriched by the pursuit of wisdom, compassion, and authenticity and transcends the mundane and embraces the profound. Moreover, I abhor distractions, though I begrudgingly acknowledge their role in preserving one's sanity, if only fleetingly. Ah, yes, there exists yet another facet of unemployment that looms on the horizon for those who have traversed past the second kind. It emerges in the twilight of one's career, upon the stage of retirement. This, my friends, is an altogether different breed. In this realm, the terrain becomes somewhat treacherous, for it is marked by a complex interplay of past endeavors and aspirations, each weaving a unique tapestry of one's life. The manner in which one ventured, the heights scaled, and whether the summit was triumphantly seized or remained elusive, all determine the complexion of this phase. It is, without a doubt, a phase of profound transformation, a juncture where the sands of time have dwindled, and the remaining grains hold a much smaller fraction of what once was. Here, the essence of life undergoes a metamorphosis. Nonetheless, I hold unwavering faith in the existence of a singular, benevolent God who reigns in the celestial realms, dispensing rewards to those who perform acts of kindness and demonstrating boundless mercy. However, I also recognize the inherent limitations of the human condition, a testament to our finite nature. In the quiet chambers of my soul, I find the courage to affirm my belief in salvation through the divine grace of Christ, our Lord and Savior. It is a truth that I have cautiously approached, yet it resonates with a profound authenticity within me. It is not my intent to proselytize or impose my convictions upon others, for I am but a humble, minuscule being in the grand tapestry of existence. I grapple daily with the intricacies of human emotions, navigating the labyrinthine landscape of our shared humanity. In this journey, I seek solace in my faith, a beacon of light that guides me through the labyrinth of life's complexities.